this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
We were walking home when he passed out, we left him. Just got a call from him, hes in a jail in Canada.
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
You get to be the grown up. Leave a ciabatta by his face.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Hahaha more like walk of pride. You entered the lions den last night.
You rinsed the beer pong ball off in my White Russian
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
I'm not sure if I should pay him or he should pay me, but someone should get paid for the sex I had this morning.
Randomize
