Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
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