420 ftw
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
So she said grabbing my cock was like holding a giant crayola from pre-school.
that was the beginning of the end.
and i looked up. we had an audience...
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
not much sitting here stoned eating my little sisters halloween candy and judging each individual hersheys candy bar and after much deliberation by the selection committee the original hersheys chocolate bar won
New high score, I made the stripper choke me while I was getting a lap dance last night
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
Why we can't turn this into a healthy friendship where I cheat on my boyfriend with you and you feel better knowing everything wrong with my life is beyond me.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I'm beginning to think the entirety of my appeal is due to the size of my ass.
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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