HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
She is a social worker. An actual good person trying to save the world. I feel like every time I give her an orgasm God wipes a little smudge off of my shit list.
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Sorry about the whole your mom seeing my face up your ass situation
You left a motherfucking bruise. ON MY TIT. How? How do you even. No.
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
How about to stay friends we only have sex on our birthdays. Maybe national holidays too. And days we get really drunk. Wanna get really drunk?
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
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