The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
he doesn't have near as many excuses as you..and his are usually pretty legit. like "i'm having a baby." that's pretty legit.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
I love reading their "i love you more" , "no i love you more" war on facebook today knowing that he hooked up with me last night. I bet i know who wins that one.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
Overdraft my account again. Parents are starting to ask questions. What would go over better a gambling or drug addiction??
Nothing says walk of shame like leather pants in daylight
Just got a groupon for a segway rental: fireworks segway battle at my house. What say you?
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
I literally just told you I found out I masturbate in my sleep. I think we can be snapchat friends again
I just want cinnabon and vodka.
I think I left my thong in your bed. Careful. It has the power to destroy the agitator on a washing machine
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
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