I have demons in me.
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
Idgaf if he's a manwhore, he's like the mt. everest of penises. howcan I NOT try to put that inside me?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
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