17 year olds will be the death of me.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
He got me an interview at his law firm and his boss asked him what he had to say about me. His response "He dates CRAZY bitches."
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
I'm gonna cougar town the shit out of that prom.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
we're so committed to being not committed
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
Randomize
