I wannas sexs uuuuu
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
what's the name of the guy at the bank you blew to get the lower interest rate?
um. wrong number, but good luck with your loan
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
her tits were more amazing then brown bears with armor and guns that fire bullets of Justice that destroys inequality.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Step 1: Buy a house Step 2: Turn bedroom into sex dungeon
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
I hummed the theme from jaws while she was taking the pregnancy test....needless to say she was not pleased
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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