I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
We were just about to get down to business and shes like oh the olympics! and jumped up and turned on the tv. cockblocked by freestyle skiing. seriously?
Who won mens moguls?
That canadian guy... bilodeau... but you're missing the point, dude.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
So my dad just walked in on me with the same girl twice in 3 nights. I told him if he wants to see her tits to adleast admit it. All he did was smirk.
I'm like a number 27.2 on a scale of 1-10 of how badly I want you right now.
Your lack of a response brings it down to a 25.4.
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
IM TRYING TO SAY GOODNIGHT STOP FOR LIKE FIVE SECONDS WITH THE DICK SUCKING
Just had a threesome with a married couple.
Stop living my dream.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
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