Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
so howd the 'mom i only play with condoms' conversation go?
One of my friends found 6 bags of gummy bears on the roof. He lives a building over. Apparently even hammered you still have quite an arm
You do realize it's a Tuesday, right?
You do realize I stopped giving a fuck about calendars when I was 10, right? And besides, it could be the best Tuesday of your life.
You never realize how many sex toys you have until you have to strategically hide them while moving out of your dorm.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
in the middle of getting head my cat meowed. she looked up , meowed back, and then continued giving me head.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
I have a burn on my hand, I'm covered in bruises, I think my toe is broken, and I have no clothes to wear home.
Randomize
