Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
So ps i'm not pregnant with any athletes illegitimate children : )
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Wait you actually sent a text to your self saying “love you I miss you"?
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize