Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
Jennifer and I just ate like 4 jello shots w/ a guy dressed as inspector gadget. We are still in the capital building btw
I love Texas.
Just got a birthday card from Camel. How am I supposed to stop smoking when they care?
I like that most of our conversations somehow end in us having sex for the good of our country
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
Why does every bad decision I make wind up having 1000 likes on YouTube?
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Holy shit he's circumcised. His parents must have really loved him.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Randomize
