Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
it felt like i was a kid in an empty playground. i fucked him on every piece of furniture in the house and then when his housemates showed up i was naked in his bed like i'd been there all along.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
You danced?!
I just jiggle to the beat like a sexy lava lamp
As a gentleman whose genital hole is relatively small, you could imagine my reaction
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
If I ever drink whiskey again make sure I don't eat the plastic cups that I'm drinking them from.
I have to close one eye, because I don't wanna see two movies, I only want to see one.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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