My sheets at my parents place are clean. No braveheart but I can paint myself, yell "freedom", and sword fight you with my cock. So come over.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
I think I just puked all over my comforter and my roomdmate won't wakt up to washc it for me
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
Let me begin my 3 part apology by saying that you are a wonderful human being...
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
Nothing is more awkward than taking a dump while someone is crying in the bathroom.
I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
I need to stop getting picked up at 3 am by my friends parents. This is the second time this week. I'm a grown man.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
He spent ten minutes post bj, limp cock still out, in shock repeating 'best blow job ever'. So yes, yelling I am the penis queen out the car window was justified.
Btw I puked in your glovebox
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