There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
You were so hammed, you asked your buddy in Economics to plot a demand curve for Parmesan Cheese.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
You get to witness red pubes. I'm almost jealous. That's like my dream.
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
I'm calling into work with a wicked case of sledge hammer crotch. She has to understand
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
The guys who program Autocorrect have never seen a vagina in person
So, I just ordered a breathalyzer for this weekend. I figured if I'm getting shitfaced, I should at least be scientific about it.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
