She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
I think I just used lyrics from the Sister Sister theme song to let a guy down easy...
i wish his balls had a scratch and sniff sticker elsewhere so i would know before i even went down there
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
I dipped out before he woke up, but I made sure to take the pizza with me.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
