I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
Well it looked like you were having a fucking apiphany sitting at the toilet with a t shirt around your head
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
Pretty sure I'm about to get another tattoo. It'll have mom in there somewhere for Mother's Day.
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I saw a drunk guy run across the street with an American flag between his buttcheeks.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Of course I fucked her, her man stole my bike when we were kids
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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