yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I legitimately sent him a storybook of naked pictures.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Well... He is a good looking man underneath all the fat and muff.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Well for decently drunk, in the woods, last-person-i-should-be-hooking-up-with sex, i thought it was pretty good.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
They found me wandering around campus screaming body shots over and over again wrapped in a curtain
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Who cares if he’s younger, he’s hung like a moose. Your vagina will never forgive you if you pass on that dick
Randomize
