I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
Well, that now makes it the 4th girlfriend in a row to cheat on me. I don't even care anymore...I'll date a prostitute and not even worry.
I always thought The Big Bang Theory wasa terrible show but that was before it came with blowjobs and pizza.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
We met some guy at the beach, and dug a hole with him. He invited us to "come back at night and smoke a blunt in this hole"
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I behisseth at your soul from the deepest darkest depths of the earth
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
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