PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I got everything I ever gave her back, every picture, and money for the dog. I didn't want it she brought it all back and gave it to me. clothes jackets, pictures, dried flowers, ear rings, necklace...
Sell it on ebay and let's go to the bar
hey im gonna send you a picture of my dinner
if its a picture of your dick again we are no longer friends
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
So my dealer asked me if I wanted to join his circle because we smoked so much this summer he thinks we're dealing
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
I almost put an adult beverage in my sippy cup for the beach but realized the next step would be rehab.
No the next step is being buzzed at the beach. I would've.
So you broke your ribs while fucking? Dude you just got about 25% hotter.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
He was simultaneously rubbing my shoulders and fucking me. I'm keeping him.
Almost ran out to the street bowl in hand when I hear the ice cream truck pull up outside.
Everything about that text makes me proud to be your sister.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
Randomize
