So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
When she sits down, she uses her fat rolls like an arm rest.
What is the pluralization of human? I just got humen rejected, and I am going completely blank...
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
And yes, in case u were wondering a 25 year old high school agriculture teacher did just hit on me At Walmart bc of my pinata
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Had to crawl to the kitchen this morning cuz I was too hung over but really wanted fruity pebbles. yes. I ate fruity pebbles on the kitchen floor.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I caught myself flirting with clients today. Someone needs to take me to pound town before I self destruct. This is a code red. I repeat code red.
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
Randomize
