so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Explain it like you would if you were talking to a 5 yo
Wait no, like you would to a stoned high school freshman.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
she just announce I'm david copper field and tried to shove a napkin down my throat
That's how you know it was a good night if two months later you finally realized your skirt never made it home and you found out where it was.
Great. Now I have to produce, edit and leak a sex tape before Saturday. Fundraising is hard.
Just had ice cream and a blow job come together in one glorious, defining moment.
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
I mean seriously there comes a time when you just need to take a crap in peace. Until he figures that out he can stay the hell outta my place.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
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