This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
accomplished twins. life is a go
I'm so high, I forgot to harvest my farmville crops....noooooooo.
Worst stoner tragedy.
Are you seriously trying to guilt me into sending you naked pictures by saying "So I can look at them during dialysis" ?
Is it working?
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
we thought it would be safer to lock you in the car alone downtown than take you back home to pass out
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
Randomize
