Do you think if I drink bleach they will let me leave work?
I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
margarita scented body wash shouldn't be used the morning after cuervo. there should be a warning on the label.
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
We are two peas in an std pod
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
He licked the buffalo sauce off my fingers and then we had the best sex of my life.
Life is clearly unfair. You remember Courtney has three older sisters, well they're all "make baby sister look like a four" hot. I knew I shouldn't go home with her.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
