haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I knew he was a classy dude because when I told him my name was Jen he said "Gin? Like Gin & Juice?"
Had to drive my booty call home because he had an asthma attack after we had sex .. How was your night?
I HAD TO TAKE A SHOT OF JAGER AND SOME REDBULL JUST TO SEE IF IT’LL MAKE MY MOUTH FEEL BETTER
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
I'm not gonna ask the guy I've fucked like 3 times if he is insecure about his eyebrows.
DUDE NEVER CALL THE COPS BACK
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