I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
i wonder if detective benson from law and order takes those handcuffs home. i bet she does.
It just feels so wrong throwing away the condoms into her Hello Kitty trashcan
...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I think forcing your little sister to drink with you on a Wednesday when she has school the next day is the low point of alcoholism.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
Well apparently I'm no fun since I won't have a threesome with him and my mother.
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
Tequila, beer, rum, gin, and vodka all mixed in my body last night. The whole "never turn down free booze" is catching up to me. Hungover = understatement of the year.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
