I can't disclose who, but one time I called someone, they didn't pick up, and immediately texted back 'will call later, masturbating'
I thought that was really considerate
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
I just remembered that before we left my house I vowed to stay fully clothed and I FAILED
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
In hindsight, maybe rearranging his living room because he has OCD while he was out wasnt the greatest idea. Though it'll keep him busy for HOURS
Randomize
