Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
how do i tell him I'm always in the mood without sounding like a slut?
this morning i checked my reflection in the toilet as i was throwing up to make sure i still had my pearl earrings on
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
Just a heads up, the coffee pot is filled with Jager.
I don't remember anything past "we have 15 minutes to drink this keg."
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
If you don't want me in your apartment then lock your door better
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
I passed out and slept in my car. Now I feel like a hungover zoo animal. Look and laugh people, look and laugh.
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Randomize
