Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
I most definitely just found a video on my phone that I accidentally took... You can't see anything and all you can hear is me talking about how good your water was... And then I fed it to you... And used the word "eloquent" to describe it.
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
Update: day 5 and Scott has not left the apartment. Still smoking. Pizza roll supply dwindling.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You just missed an honest to god bukkake
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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