I just blew up the bathroom at work and now I feel like a new woman
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
I don't know if this beer pong partnership can last if you refuse to look me in the eye when we make sweet sweet clutch cup at the same time.
You've picked up chicks by quoting metal bands
When they're drunk they believe it's Shakespeare...enjoy the simple things
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
Thats gotta be it. Also just found out that the fireworks will fit in the airsoft pistols...we are all gonna die
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
DO NOT THROW SOUP AT YOUR SCREEN
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I can't find my keys and there's a hotdog in my purse.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
They tried to get you to drink water and all you kept shouting was, "NO MORE LIQUIDS OF *ANY* KIND."
Randomize