This is the first month I have not taken plan B to get my period in over a year
And somehow that makes me sad knowing I haven't had raunchy unprotected sex in a month
I too understand the importance of cheesy bread
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
He kept saying "this is a bad idea" wasn't in his vocabulary. He left at 2 came back at 6 eating frozen waffles and he had a symbol, a moped mirror, and a new MacBook. I'd say he had a good time
I found a sock full of anal beads in my dryer. At least she washes them.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
I have a strong contender for the new number 1 position for fwb. He met me at the door with pizza and a shot of patron
Only my second night back in town and I already have drunk middle aged women doing the robot around me in a circle.
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I really want to stop getting this drunk. I've got the Sunday scaries and it's only Saturday
Randomize
