she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Good thing I was dressed to impress in my "I went nuclear on my wings" shirt even the girls are making out and I'm still 7th wheeling it...
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Definitely want to eloquently cunt punt those bitches thru the field goals of life.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
Dude, you were tagged in a stripper FB selfie. That is a whole new level of something.....
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I can't sleep. My mind keeps asking "turn down for what?" but it won't accept any of my answers.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
DUDE!!!!! THERE IS A MIDGET HANDING OUT RICE KRISPIE TREATS!!!!!! WHERE ARE YOU WHEN THE COOL SHIT GOES DOWN???????
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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