that's like riding a pigeon when you could fuck a bald eagle
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
I don't want to date him...I just want him to cheat on his girlfriend with me.
You have no idea how awkward it is fucking someone with the same name as your dog
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
Randomize
