I think i sorta joined a cult last night
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
i don't think it's normal to still be missing spring break.
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
I think the highlight of my night is when I was eating a mayonnaise sandwich. drunk me was on point.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
Randomize
