Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
i woke up wearing her shoes. this night isn't going on my highlight reel
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Dude, you need to understand there is a fine line between "guilty pleasure" and in the closet gay
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
My boss asked me what was wrong today and I really wanted to tell her I woke up too late to smoke a bowl before coming in
Let me guess you did your hair instead? Has anyone told you about priorities?
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
I woke up under a house in Key West
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