I'm going to an arts college, I live next to the frat houses, and my room number is 420. god has plans for me and I couldn't be happier.
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
You're obviously not trying hard enough. GET LAID. Kittens die for less.
Touche salesman.
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
So the day after the 4th I'm sitting here drinking Molson and watching NHL free agent frenzy. From patriotic American to drunken Canadian in 24 hours flat. Booyah.
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
No one knows how to work that "I pulled a muscle in my leg" drunk swagger like you can
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
