lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
I felt like Norm from Cheers walking into the free clinic.
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
He taught me how to drive a stick by using his dick. He even made the whurrrr noise so I knew when to change gears.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
....I feel like you are deciding whether or not I'm good enough for you based on what I ordered from Chipotle.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
He called me for phone sex. Do you know how hard it is to fake an orgasm, and play Candy Crush at the same time?
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
Randomize
