The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
I just feel as thought we should spend the day in which we celebrate relationships the same as how we started them. Drunken hook ups.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
first reaction to dying the pubes purple - awesome. Reaction after I explain the process - not awesome. Hypothesis? when girls find out you know to bleach and dye your hair, they're turned off.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
After sex he cried I didn't know what to do so I patted him on the back and went to the kitchen to make waffles
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I woke up wearing my panties and an eyelash, soo I'd say your birthday was a success.
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things 🙈😐
Dude why can't I remember anything after walking in from my first beer bong?
It was immediately followed by your second, third, fourth and fifth
Randomize
