Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i just woke up to seventeen texts from you saying all the things you would have done for a french fry.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
I only broke up with her because the ex sex is amazing. She will do ANYTHING if i even hint at getting back together
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I'm in the liquor store and fucking "Wannabe" by the Spice Girls is playing. IM ALREADY ASHAMED OF MY REASON FOR BEING HERE, GIVE ME A BREAK.
Randomize
