Can you really blame Steve Phillips? He went to Michigan. Plowing fat girls is a 100-level course there.
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
We are getting high tomorrow and being statues at the cafeteria. Come find us.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
My penis just literally said "Yaaaaaay!!!" It's the first time it's spoken out loud. Before this we could only communicate through rudimentary sign language
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
I just want you to know that I think it is hilarious and wonderful that 40s are now your alcohol of choice.
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
