I ahte it when I peed a little on my shews. I got a litll bit on the automen in your room too.:/
Tracy!! I don't have an ottoman in my room.
Ohhh....do you have a dog shaped liek un automan?
walking on gravel proved too much for her barefeet so she traded her bra for some guys sneakers.
Oh my god. Oh my god. Oh my god. I drunk emailed a professor on friday. Oh my god. Oh my god.
I'm drinking vodka out of a coffee pot. and i'm not even mad about it
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
i'm sad. The beetle crawled away. I was only trying to get him stoned.
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Me ending up in the fetal position in my shower is becoming far too commonplace. It's like a weekly therapy session
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
Just got 20% off at the liquor store. How you ask? I asked if there was an "I got divorced today" discount.
Yeah its great. Whenever we want a new bowl we hand it to Trevor and he clears it in one hit. Definitely one of the benefits to having a swimmer in your circle.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
Randomize
