Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
strippers are much less mysterious after you sleep with them
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Don’t listen to me, I’m walking around wearing nothing but rave bracelets and headphones shouting “yeeeeaaahhhhhh”
This date is awful. He’s too boring to bang
Is porn accurate? Can I order a pizza and do the delivery boy?
Randomize
