so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
There is nothing wrong with wanting a slide attached to your staircase
wait do you know what youre gonna say if they ask how youre getting back?
yes. helicopter.
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Called my ex last night, told her I wanted to bang like we use too, her fiance was in the car, I was on speaker phone. NO MORE TEQUILA!
Did she say Ok?
Dude I am allergic to the candy dicks from that sex shop in Vegas. Come take me to hospital right now.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Underoos and an IDGAF attitude: all you need to successfully win at life
(Underoos optional)
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
