Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
I wish i could make my toaster dance like they do in the second ghostbusters. But i dont have ectoplasmic goo. Or a toaster.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Just warning you the last time I had captain Morgan I gave a blow job to a guy that looked like Jesus.
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
