she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
My roomate just said the he would "tap dat" to the 13 out of control girl on maury. Im finding a new place in the morning.
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
I need to stop drinking. Side note- we have a party bus tonight. So the drinking will have to end after that
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Not a chance. She stuck her hand under my kilt and she told the whole table I was indeed commando. She broke all the rules.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
Just had a shirt made that says "I'm sorry" going to wear it every sat and sun morning for the foreseeable future
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
We had a One Night Stand 6 months ago but he just Facebook invited me to his wedding. Who the fuck does that.
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
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