so i'm sitting in his room drinking tequila from the bottle and watching harry potter. he's jacking off to some porn a couple feet away from me. at one point i look over and see that he's watching me instead of the porn. please help me figure out how warped it is that i found that romantic
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
His facebook status was woke up with a whale ..... Captain AHAB IS BACK !!!!!
I tried to show my boob for free volcano tacos at taco bell last night. Not boobs. Just boob. The manager wasn't allowing it.
Dude are you alive? We drank shit that made a german bartender blow chunks.
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
I was just at Kroger and saw some guy with a steelers balloon... ran up to him and popped it. NO RAGRETS.
And thank god for autocorrect cuz I can't even think in English let alone spell in it right now.
There is blood all over my sheets and no discernible source.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
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