I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
We can't be fuck buddies. You stare into my eyes while we fuck.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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