The way you explained my vagina was exactly the way I would of described my breakfast burrito.
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
This girl brought half a watermelon to class. I want to be on her level.
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I woke up in a place I've never been before, with people I've never met before using me as a table for domino's.
We're discussing which museums we should go to when we shroom. How ill would Picasso be?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize
