Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
Man i fell asleep on a random persons porch on the way home and woke up to the family banging on the windows trying to wake me up
he pissed the bed, like I literally woke up and he was pissing right beside me. With the electric blanket he's lucky he didn't get electrocuted
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
just found a joint on the street in downtown. smoked it with the hot guy from my chem class
WHAT IS UP WITH YOU SMOKING/ DRINKING THINGS OFF THE GROUND?
i was watching the elves fighting on my knees while waiting for the shrooms to kick in then i realized
Woke up went to work ate beef after three year hiatus shat my pants went to bed
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