Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
he was screaming in a recently acquired accent that he paid for delivery and they could cancel the entire order if they didn't come upstairs
I thought you said it was going to get worse not hilarious.
the delivery boy turned out to be my students mother. now she knows that i have incredibly low standards AND thanks to the fact that he still has dialup the pizza tracker was way off and she rang the bell and he answered mid bong rip.
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
...She just said, "We've been blessed with good drugs lately."
Im drinking in homer but I guess Egan got arrestest on an "assault by water ballon" charge but tom actually threw the water balloon in question at the bartender.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
Do you think I could convince a doctor that my uterus is poisoning me? It wouldn't technically be a lie. It does more harm than good.
It's like some sort of initiation to finger one of them... so I did it. And got high fived afterwards like a dozen times.
Those were right hand only?
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
Randomize