What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
You informed me your place was now a nudist colony and unless I was there to drink schnapps with the cat I had to strip.
The good news is I woke up fully clothed, on top of my covers, with a half eaten granola bar. So, breakfast was waiting for me and I’m already dressed and ready to go today.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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