He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
SARAH B AND I ARE GOING TO GO HALFSIES AND BUY YOU A CAT. IS THAT OKAY. TO KEEP YOU COMPANY DURING THUNDERSTORMS SUCH AS THIS ONE. ITS BECAUSE WE LOVE YOU.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
If you wake up tomorrow and start to wonder.... Yes you did just eat mild sauce from taco bell out of the package while informatively yelling about the loss of my virginity
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
The Royals are in the World Series. I've never drank so much in one week in my life.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Randomize
