We have a vodka soaked ShamWow with your name on it.
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
How would you go about getting a hold of the country star that you slept with and are now potentially pregnant with their baby...?
myspace Music?
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
officially christened the dorm room by sucking my spilled drink off the floor. tastes like homee
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
I don't know what's wrong with me. The guy from bar rescue is making me horny
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
Randomize