everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
You gave him your vagina and this is what I get in return? This is bullshit!
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
She was perfectly content just sitting in the middle of everyone blowing bubbles in the air.
I love how my cats smell like pot.
I never thought I would say the free bottle of grey goose was the problem but it was
Is it just me or did a policeman park your car last night?
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I just threw in a dip with a guy that superglued his fake tooth back in today. My life is complete.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Randomize
