dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
they arrested me when i was peaking, i'm pretty sure they were specifically looking for me but i was too busy rolling around, loving the grass to notice the police car..
I met her at the liquor store. I hope I'm wearing a condom
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
Aw don't be embarrassed. It was all good fun! We've all been there. You can't come to vegas and NOT get a little alcohol poisoning. That's like going to church and not praying.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
we finally found him at 2 am. he was 3 miles from the house and tried running into the lake when he saw us pull up. i don't think he'll be taking ecstacy again any time soon.
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
if I start to respond to these political texts with a middle finger emoji - do you think they will get the hint?
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