i am a beautiful darrk chocolate womann
honey you're def caucasian
i am a beautiful white cholcllate woman.... Z
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
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