they need to just BURY HIM!
:O -> O: ... that's emoticon for "he threw up in my mouth while we were making out"
it was like fucking gandolphs beard
I want to spend time with you, and by time, I mean real time. Not your dick in my mouth time.
I wonder if she thought to herself "I'm gonna sleep with that guy tonight" when she watched me puke on the bar at 3 in the afternoon?
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
It's called life, you pretentious bitch. Grow up.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just saw the co founder of Waffle House passed away Friday. Are you okay?
That's about the same time my life started falling apart... Coincidence?!?!? I think NOT!!!
It makes my nipple hurt just thinking about it.
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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