She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I smelled him yesterday and almost relapsed he's like cocaine
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
How does one tell their boyfriend they're pregnant with someone else's kid??
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
The pandemic has not made Uber drivers any less chatty.
Randomize
