Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
You have to understand, this is the first time I'm looking at a whopper sober.
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Remember that time we got drunk tomorrow
I would like to dedicate my cray behavior this week to my uncontrollable hormones and wine. Both have totally Efff'ed with my life.
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
we went to go get waffles and then i sucked his dick in a parking lot. average tuesday.
Have you ever been anal in a bush on the Vegas strip drunk?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
we went to go have morning sex and I said “I was gonna put my mouth on it but you need to shower”#ruinedthemoment
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
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