why dont you just whore around college until someone loves you...thats how it works for girls isnt it?
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
We had to coat check the pizza.
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
What if I told you that I had 160 ounces of cheap malt liquor in my backpack? Espn films 40 for 40s presents: Edward 40 hands. Our room. 11PM/10 central
The dog just shocked himself by peeing on Christmas lights, should I have saw that coming?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
uh why is my bathtub filled with kool aid? or is that blood?
Randomize
