covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
What do you think she thinks of us?
I think she thinks we're whores... but ya I think she likes us
my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
An alarm set every 45 minutes saying "FATTY" and one every afternoon saying "CASPER" every day until spring break is a foolproof plan to being bikini ready
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
He is dating a girl who is on the Olympic shooting team...I've never been so scared to hit on a guy with a girlfriend in my entire life.
My mom just gave me my fake back to buy her more wine.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I was hammered helping a pregnant woman at the gas station name her unborn child. We had to try everything with two different last names because she was waiting on the results of her paternity test.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
How in the fuck did you get LIVE MOTHER FUCKING BATS!?!?! Into my ROOM last night????
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