If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
My liver just broke up with me...
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
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