If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
My morning has consisted of lying in a fetal position, eating a whole tub of ben and jerry's, talking to my cat, and setting all of our pictures on fire. Does that answer your question?
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
She just asked if I wanted to eat nachos off of her boobs... I'm going to marry this girl.
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
Oh, btw, UPS might come by. Drunk me ordered us $75 worth of gummy airhead starburst type candies. Whatever it is, it'll be delicious.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize