What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
she definitely has that "I'll bang you, but then I'll tell your girlfriend" look to her.
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Oh you don't have to buy a shower curtain, I stole the one from her bathroom. It has dolphins on it.
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
Well anyways I still cant believe I don't remember such a monumental day in history as you showing me your boobs... Jesus
By the power invested in me i promise you hot wedding sex at my wedding.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
If I knew the person sucking my dick didn't say thank you for their Christmas presents I wouldn't be able to cum.
Coworker just walked in thirty minutes late reeking like weed and clutching a handful of scratch-off tickets. Also, there’s still a stripper pole in my office. Happy Wednesday!
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