By the way, your roommate is right. His penis is much bigger than yours.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
I was cleaning out my bag and I found some xanax wrapped in plastic with a note that said "use in case of emergency"
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Just saw 1 guy dressed as a cow and another dressed as a shrimp dancing on the side of the road. We're turning around I NEED to dance with them.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
I made a wizard staff out of Keystone light... I am therefore the smoothest wizard in all of our university's history.
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
last night I mixed vodka in with my protein shake... and you tell me my new years resolution was impossible
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
