You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
his ex girlfriend sent him a pic of her naked in the bathtub so I sent her a pic of me sucking his dick
He's 5'2" and his dick 4'8"
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Randomize