So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
I figured he was gay when I walked in on him working out to Flirty Girl Fitness.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
I wish to strangle
whoa there darth vader
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
My ass is underappreciated
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
It’s the biggest dick I’ve ever seen. His IQ drops 25 points when he’s hard because there’s no blood going to his brain
Hey? Just a hypothetical. You ever accidentally kill somebody's cat on purpose? Like you didn't mean to but it had it coming? If you're wondering it tripped me while I was walking down the stairs and I landed on it as I fell.
Randomize
