My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
i just caught my roommate coming out of the bathroom half naked with a surge protector. he told me he didn't wanna talk about it.
i just ate two sandwiches and am debating booty calling my landlord
Why is there a cactus in the microwave?
Don't worry about it.
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
I only keep her as my best friend so she wont hook up with my ex.
Slurping strawberries throug a straw. It feels like the kool-aid man is coming in my mouth.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Randomize
