I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
She said she'll drive over, bang, and then head home. It's like ordering a pizza.
How the fuck does a person bruise an armpit? I swear to god, I get the lamest drunk injuries.
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
So we decided we're going to stop having sex...except for tonight. And probably tomorrow.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
Randomize
