u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
im holly from the hills drunk
You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize